God KNOWS

I have wanted to write this post for a long time.

During all the months of wondering and waiting, praying and talking and planning, there were times that i thought "I can't wait to have this all figured and be able to share our news.  And i can't wait to finally feel like i can share about my life."

Because so much of my life has been consumed by this that it used up anything else that i may have written about.  I wanted to blog, but all i could think about was what i could NOT blog about.

So i have waited.

And i have prayed and prayed and waited some more.

Waiting on God is a hard thing to do

He never follows my timeline!  (i wonder why?!? :)

And as the weeks and months wore on i gained clarity and peace.  I knew for a fact that God had a good plan for us and that he was working out the details even when we couldn't see it.  I learned how wonderful it is to know that God KNOWS!  To just sit back and let God handle all the details and just pray and wait to see where He was leading.

And then we got the call.  And soon i was putting my two "babies" on an airplane and waving goodbye, promising to pray for the upcoming interview and wondering what God had coming next.

Less then two days later, here we are.

My husband got a wonderful job, one that gives him chunks of time off to be with his family.  A job that he thinks he will not just like but ENJOY.  A job with great benefits and even better pay.  A job that will be so good for our family.

And it's in North Dakota.

Oh how we prayed for this and agonized over what was the right choice for our family!  Though we never want to put money as our top priority, we realized that when lack of money is ruling your life because you can't meet your financial obligations, that is when it is time for a change.  We talked and planned and came up with a criteria.  Something to measure a job up against.

Does it keep us apart too much?  Then it gets a no

Is it enough extra money to make it worth moving so far?  Then it gets a maybe

Is it close to our family in ND?  Maybe

Benefits?  Time off?  Extra income? Etc, etc?

Check, check, check.  I can not emphasize enough how much we prayed about this.  Moving your family away from all other family you know, and everything and everyone you have ever known, and leaving your house behind to be rented and moving to a different state is more then a scary thing.  It was overwhelming and a bit terrifying.

But resting in the assurance that God has a plan and who's plan is better then God's?  Well, let me tell you, it is what got us through this.

So yes, now we are moving to North Dakota.  In a week no less.  And leaving most of our worldly posessions behind.  It is still a bit scary, and very bittersweet as we leave so much family and friends, everything we've ever known.

But God has been working in my heart, and I am so glad he cares so much about me to bother!  Because i have such tremendous peace.  I know, I KNOW that we are in the center of God's will.  And i am excited for the challenge of a new place and new people and making new friends, finding a new church and forging our marriage stronger as all we will have to lean on is each other.

I'm sure this post is quite rambling and makes little sense, so i want to close with my main point.

NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING is impossible with God.  He has a PLAN for you and if you will just TRUST and PRAY and wait for His leading, then you don't have to worry and fret and plan.  Your plan will never be better then God's anyway.  And if God's plan is going to lead you through a tough time, the beauty of it is, He will be there with you.  And He saw it coming.  God KNOWS!

And that is all i need to know.

Of Time and Poo

Time is a funny thing.

One day it seems to drift past slowly, crawling with the heavy weight of waiting and wanting and wondering.  Other days it speeds by and you are left reeling, wondering why nothing is completed and everything is a mess.

And how my once newborn is now almost two.

This morning she said her first sentence.  It was simple, only two words, but it tugged at my heart.

She said "Bye Daddy!" and i had to snatch up the phone quick and call my husband as we were backing out of the driveway, to let him know that her important first sentence was about him.

I marvel at all she is learning, how big she is and how things that were once hard, she now does without thinking - and so do i.  Walking without stumbling, running and talking and feeding oneself.  It all is learned so slow and yet so fast.

Today she is super interested in the potty.  She tells me twice she needs to go potty, so i take her.  We are face to face and she starts talking to me and playing with my nose.  I am thinking, this might actually be some good one on one time, this is kind of fun!  And as she is sitting there doing her business and i am squatting next to her, holding her up and inches from her face i start thinking: maybe this won't be so hard!  I know she is still pretty young, but she is doing this on her own!  Maybe i should try again and do no diapers today.

So i get brave and leave her diaperless and then follow her around because i am terrified for the carpet.  We go to play outside, because it is safer and the kids want to anyway.  All is well.

Ten minutes later, as i am picking poo out of the grass i think: "Maybe she really isn't that big after all......